Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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