You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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