one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
