I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
