He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
that may or may not have been my penis.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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