he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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