just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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