just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
