Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We are all done wearing pants today
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