I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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