I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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