My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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