I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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