i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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