this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
