I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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