real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I want her autograph on my taint
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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