But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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