I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
