as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
