Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
