dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
