The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
