When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
