Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
