I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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