dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
