I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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