I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
