yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
