Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
