i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize