Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
