She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
