I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
