Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
