i think i have two assholes
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
