The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
