some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
