it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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