maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
