I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
