Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize