she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
