Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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