redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
