u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Randomize
