I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
As shirtless as possible
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
