there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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