I must be too annoying 4 u.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
