I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My ass is underappreciated
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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