you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
