I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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