I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
