it was like his penis was on wheels.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
