there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
