So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
