3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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