Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
