She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
