They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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