Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
