Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i out mim tonsoeep
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