Yo dont text me then not text me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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