She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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