i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
