You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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