Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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